Spring is here. The flowers are blooming, pools are open and the hot summer nights are just around the corner. It is also the beginning of Wedding Season. Spring and Summer still reign as the most popular times to get married and there are many brides and grooms busy getting everything prepared for the big event: the dress, the favors, the playlist and the first dance. There can sometimes be so much focus on this big event that the even larger happening, the marriage, gets overshadowed.
Your wedding takes place over a few hours. Your marriage will hopefully last decades. I always urge my clients to spend the same amount of time on marriage preparation as they do on wedding planning.
How does a couple get prepared for marriage? And is it actually possible to be truly prepared for what marriage and a life-long commitment is like?
I believe that couples who have a clear understanding of what they want and need; the ability to bluntly ask for it; and knowledge of the logic of emotion and communication are as prepared as they can be. Life will always throw curve balls at us and it impossible to “know” what marriage will be like but the couples who have a plan about how they will tackle the tough time seem to fair better than the couples who “wing it.”
If you are busy with wedding preparations please take some time to consider premarital counseling, a weekend class or a book/workbook focussed on communication skills and goal setting. The time you put in now, while things are peaceful, can save you from a great deal of heartache when life becomes more stressful.